Members say local dementia club is a 'lifeline'

Betty's Club in Burnham Market celebrates its official opening. It offers support, friendship and well-being to those with dementia and their families.

As I enter Betty’s club, there’s a lot of chatter and a cake is about to be cut (good timing). The club’s official opening is being celebrated. Last October what was a bare room overlooking a garden - is now a warm and inviting space.

Sarah Reed, who has thoughtfully created this club, didn’t want to refer to people as patients, “We call everybody a member then everybody’s equal, whether they’re a volunteer, a person with dementia or the carers.” Sarah’s mother Mary had the illness, it’s that personal experience and years of research into dementia, which has led her here.

Sarah's older brother with their mother Mary

Cake is handed out and I get to chat to some of the members. There’s a spare seat next to Alison whose husband Clive has dementia, she tells me about a recent singing afternoon, "We enjoyed it didn’t we Clive?” He agrees. “We had a very very fun afternoon,” she adds, “Have you ever sung all the verses for YMCA? We sang that, it was great fun and everyone enjoyed it.”

A big part of this club is life story sessions, to learn about each other. Up on the wall are some beautiful black and white portraits, and underneath some snippets into people's pasts. As I point to Clive’s portrait his eyes light up, “I was a GP and trained at Guy’s Hospital in London. My father and my grandfather were also doctors.”

Wall of portraits 

Out in the garden I meet Peter, who’s standing with his wife and carer Shirley. They’ve been married for more than 70 years. She describes the group as a ‘lifeline’, “It can be a bit isolating, we are both in our 90’s - Peter’s 95 in November and I’m 93. We haven’t got family around us here, so it’s nice coming down here.”

Shirley and Peter

She asks Peter if he enjoys it, “Yes, of course, it is lovely. I was a little bit nervous about coming first of all, but since coming - I enjoy it, I enjoy talking to people.” 

I spot a small group chatting and laughing and get introduced to another Peter, who tells me he was a local baker. I soon learn he’s being modest, he was part of a long-established family business that began in Burnham Market in the 1920’s.

Peter and his wife Veronica

“It was called Grooms Bakery - it’s still there on the high street, the building,” he says, smiling, “My grandfather was a baker, then my father - then my brother and I took over. Every morning was an early morning, but I enjoyed it. My speciality were the cakes.”

He goes on to say he wasn’t keen coming here to start with but he enjoys the group now and laughs when I ask how the singing is going, “I enjoy it, but maybe other people don’t enjoy hearing me sing!”

His wife Veronica adds, “It takes the pressure off, it’s a 24 hour thing, you’re always having to think one step ahead all the time, so to be able to come and do something like this is great. It’s very well thought out and friendly place to come to.”

When all the members have left I sit down with Sarah for a catch up. “I think it’s gone well today - everyone’s seemed to have had a nice time. When we first got this club going I said I want a place where people feel like they’ve been to a party, that good feeling you get when you socialise, and everyone says to me that’s what they like best.”

Sarah and her volunteer team, from left: Lou Swallow, Louise Sills, Lesley Nadel, Sarah Reed, Marie Cressy, Jill Catmull

Sarah adds, “They’ve all made friends with each other so they’re becoming a little community - and as far as I'm concerned that’s the achievement I feel most proud of.”

Volunteer, Jill Catmull, who does singing lessons says, “They love it, it’s a really good outlet, especially for the carers. I go home feeling happy as well, it livens everyone up really.”  

As well as singing and art sessions, it also offers learning workshops for caregivers, where experts come in to chat, a recent one was about compassion fatigue.

As I pass the wall of portraits on my way out, it emphasises for me how sometimes people can get lost behind an illness, it's an important reminder of interesting lives led and experiences had.  A hope not to let a diagnosis define someone.

Betty's Club is a safe space, full of growing friendships and much needed support - where members are celebrated.  Of course we have to give a nod to Betty Sargent, who lived in Docking and died in 2016, and left a sum of money which made it all possible.  I'm sure she'd be delighted with what it's achieved so far.